my noes is a bit stuffy

There is some kind of sticky sickness running through my veins , not the physical kind but the emotional...although my nose is a bit stuffy. Parts of it are to naked to reveal to an audience but I assure you its a far deeper feeling than simply missing being home, that's almost become the easy part. I can't even say it is even being here, but something dark has been festering in my chest lately. Now I continue to fill my days with picnic park trips of wine and cheese but this side of me is rarely far from surface. I suppose as i engulf myself in debates of human rights i realise all that I myself am entitled to them as well. It is behind these words that my anger truly lies. I have the right to be respected, to be treated fairly, to be cared for and to receive help when I need it. The black smoke coughs out these demands in irrational fits and watching myself act this way usually makes me cry. You can only do so much before your exhausted, only try so hard before you give up and only forgive so many times before the apologies just lose meaning. If this is what they meant by "finding yourself" then I'm afraid of what I'll turn into. Your talking to someone but can hardly hear them because your head is screaming to loud. In tsunami's these feelings and insecurities come crashing on your shore where they are held by levies because honestly, who the fuck in Geneva gives a shit? Whats funny is this is why I haven't wrote in a while, I was afraid that all these toxins would come spewing out and had not wanted to infect you.