full circle I suppose.

"...If there is a load, that you have to bear, that you can't carry...." There soft toned rendition of Lean on me helped calm the rolling waves of motion sickness during our nauseating bus ride to Annecy, France. The low thick fog and autumn covered mountains (that I'm sure were beautiful) were lost while I stared at the floor, listened to my friends adorable singing voices, and tried my to hold down breakfast. The remainder of the day I promise you was exceptionally more charming. Chris bought me a San Pellegrino and with a pat on the back we headed to the cobblestone streets that intermingle with canals. We traipse around the misty air and sample cheeses from the Sunday market stands we pass. When you see buildings with ages you can hardly fathom, imagining who else has walked these same paths left me with an emotion that lies somewhere between eerie and excited. The whole city had that same tone and the thick ever present fog only added to the appeal. I went to my first castle where we joked of our plans for buying it. "It's nice and all but we'll have to work on insulation." Chris tells me. "Of course " I assure him "but theirs so much square footing, and I think the piano would look splendid over there." I posed as queen for an afternoon and at lunch I ate like a princess. A chevre cheese crepe and fresh spring salad lunch with a dessert crepe of homemade Carmel and fresh whip cream erased any hint of nausea and deepened my respect for the french and their attention to detail. The sprinkling rain curled my hair as we continued on our promenade. Activities like stopping for Mulled orange wine and crossing the Bridge of Love add to the ambiance of this fairy tale town. As we walked to the old prison that is now displayed as a museum I imagined the prisoners in the 1300's making this same walk, many of which I learned would be their last view of the world not threw iron bars. Within this island of a building the eerie out weighed the excitement, and while laying on the old prisoners beds was entertaining it left a residue on my back of misery that lingered longer than I hoped. The sun set put a nip to the air that directed us into a tiny restaurant run by a women who couldn't of looked more french. Her sharp noes and wild hair gave us a guided tour of her menu accentuating her local and homemade products with pride and integrity. She offers us free aperitifs since " Young students have little money", boy is she right. She was the kind of person who's expressions made the room glow like the candles lit on our table. As any wise traveller does we all tried her house favorites and local cuisines which I think nearly made her night. I can say that the bus ride home was far more pleasant but questions of the future did churn in my stomach. Soon I will be..umm...hmm... what is the end of that sentence, if I knew it maybe I could of rested at ease at the end of my prefect day. "Just stay here in the tower of your castle Heidi, ride bike your over cobblestone tiny streets with a baguette stuck in the basket." my imagination begs. Reality trails quickly behind laughing a sarcastic grumble and reminds me of the loans that are due, the jobs to be had, and the grad schools are to be applied for. With only 3 weeks left my fairy tale is fading away like a dream you wake up from and try to force yourself back into. You were just there, practically held it in your hands and in a counter intuitive pattern your diamond turned to coal and that coal into ash. If you look away for only a moment it promises to all blow away. This time around, where home is the unfamiliar territory, I recognize this feeling as the same one I had on a bus in Rome. Full circle I suppose. This time I carry a powerful bag of ammo acquired over the last few months, just in time for my next big gig. Now facing this change my only fear is that life will stop handing out such interesting mountains to climb. It promised it would as long as I try my hardest not to throw up on the ride there. With the soft support of friendship and all of the strength I can summon, it's a promise I can keep.