Time: please ignore my ramblings

Just before I left, Belinda in the elegant manor of older sister fought my dragon sized fears that tied my stomach into knots with her calm and steady sentence structure. "Think of the friends you have now, at one time you didn't know them at all. Now they are the people your closest with." It made perfect sense. "Only in theory" I convinced myself. Surly the practice would be a much more complicated predicament filled with forced smiles and those awkward "stop and chat" conversations I have grown to despise. She was right though and it turned out to be one of those things that 4 extra years on a planet will teach you. Her voice solid with the confidence she knew I needed chimes in when I think about the people I was nervous even be around but now feel almost as comfortable as home. Now in any normal situation three months would seem miniscule to even get to know someone but this is a unique version of friendship, one from concentrate. As quickly as my three months here has passed when I think back at what has happened time contorts and a year may have passed for all I know. The pictures show proof and explain the timeline but that doesn't stop me from wondering who the girl looking out for the very top of St. Peters Basilica is, surly not I. It's silly almost that I came all the way to Europe to make friends with people who live a state below me, not to mention Caitlin who lives in East Lansing for Christ sake. Life is just funny that way I suppose. Coming home and leaving these people swirls a hurricane of mixed emotion. It will never be like this anymore, never in my life will this odd group of characters come tromping down the steps, into the creepy community kitchen, tired from work but with enough light left to keep company with friends. Good friends too, ones that know strangely too much about you for someone who was a stranger in August. Its not that I want to stay in the half way house deemed "Circ de Cenacle" for the fellow freak shows who reside in it, I just want to press pause for a while. The movie is in fast forward, it has been since I left for Chicago. Maybe for aday or two slow motion could kick in. I have this gross feeling that it’s all this way really, I mean where has college gone. Poof. Do I have any other options but to keep letting this river tow me away? Should I be afraid? If so of what? Life? Now wouldn't that be a waste. My ramblings get the best of me but have been cluttering behind my eyes and make falling asleep at night next to impossible.I wonder what Bea would say to soothe my current state.